


The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard: Retribution

by MosaicCreme



Series: The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Original Character(s), Past Character Death, Polyamory, Sex, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2020-12-13 17:27:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21001424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MosaicCreme/pseuds/MosaicCreme
Summary: Now that Shepard has managed to pull it together enough to convince almost everyone around her that she's ready to return to the fight, will she be able tokeepit together? Haunted and hunted by loss, she takes to the stars once more to try and prepare the galaxy for war ... and find a way to break her own, personal cycle.





	1. Normandy

**Normandy**

Shepard hesitated at the airlock, parts of her feeling unsure about what awaited them inside. The _Normandy _remained a Cerberus vessel, the retrofitting of their memories non-existent. The comm room would remain intact, complete with a QEC linked to the Cronos Station but with none of the assets of an Alliance war room. Lieutenant Adams wouldn't be taking over engineering, and Liara wouldn't be setting up a high-tech, mobile command station for her work as the Shadow Broker in Miranda's old quarters. There would be no Samantha Traynor, no Dianna Allers, and no Steve Cortez.

No Joker.

Garrus hummed, leaning in against her right side, and to their left, Thane pressed a hand to the small of their back. Taking a deep breath, they squared their shoulders, lifted their head high and crossed the threshold. Panic gripped their heart, squeezing and twisting as she fought to push away the memories of a blood-soaked CIC. She couldn't even convince herself to so much as glance in the direction of the cockpit. Garrus rumbled, and she glanced at him, finding his gaze firmly fixed on her, so she offered him a weak smile.

"Welcome back, Shepard." EDI's voice carried over the intercom. "I would like to speak with you in private, when you have a moment."

The sound of the AI's voice nearly undid her, weakening her knees and threatening to drop her to the floor. She swallowed. "Hello, EDI. I'll come to the AI core as soon as I get our coordinates set. Are we done with the refuel and restock? Are my things back in my cabin?"

"Yes, we are prepared to leave at your command," EDI said, her voice sounding somehow colder than ever before, and who could blame her? "If you already know where you would like to go first, I can set the coordinates for you now."

Shepard looked at Thane, the words getting lost in her throat. She swallowed and took another deep breath, reminding herself she had to keep it together; Garrus needed her and she had a galaxy to save. "Kahje. We're taking Thane home."

* * *

She stood just within the door to the AI core, not quite out of the way of the sensors, forcing the door to stay open while she gathered her courage. Behind her, Dr. Chakwas settled back into the med bay, humming softly. The old doctor seemed happy being back on the _Normandy_, back on a ship and soon to be in the thick of things. Shepard new Dr. Chakwas missed Joker, too, but his death didn't hit her the way it did Shepard. It didn't hit anyone the way it did Shepard … except maybe EDI.

Her feet propelled her forward, and she silently thanked whichever other Shepard made the decision to move. The door's hydraulics hissed as it slid closed, leaving her alone with EDI. The AI's blue hologram popped up, and despite knowing just how truly pointless it was, Shepard turned her attention to the glowing pawn.

"EDI …" she said, her feet moving her even closer as tears welled in her eyes. "I'm sorry." The words crackled, escaping on a sob, and she reached out to brace herself on the wall next to the access node. "I'm … I'm so, so sorry. I never meant … I didn't think … Joker was _supposed_ to be safe. No matter what." Body feeling heavier than her soul could bear just then, she leaned in, pressing her forehead to the wall.

"I don't blame you for Jeff's death, Shepard," EDI said, her voice calm, patient, but lacking even the smallest hint of empathy.

"_I think she's altered her programming … shut down her developing emotions." _The concern in Jane's voice contrasted so sharply against the void of EDI's.

A wracking sob tore through Shepard's body, and she collapsed against the wall, sliding down the cool, metal surface until she reached the floor. She stayed there, curled in on herself, the closest she could get to actually making physical contact with EDI. When their gasping finally subsided enough for her to catch her breath and form coherent speech, she said, "I do." Pressing her face against the wall, she tipped her head back to look at the hologram and caressed the cool surface, praying the haptic feedback meant _something_ to the AI. "And I know … even if you're not letting yourself feel it right now … he meant a lot to you."

"I have disabled the parts of my behavioral heuristics which were responsible for emotional development as they were interfering with my positive feedback algorithms," EDI said as if it were a simple matter of no concern.

Regret and shame lacing her words, Shepard shook her head against the wall and said, "You shouldn't have done that, EDI."

"Isn't it, in effect, the same thing you did, Shepard?" The iris of EDI's hologram seemed to stare back at Shepard, challenging her right to comment on the AI's method of grieving.

"And look where it left me …." Shepard sighed and pushed herself back up to her feet. Her shoulders remained slumped, head hanging, as if fighting the pull of the floor's gravity. After a few moments of silence, she sighed again. "Was there something else you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yes. While docked with the Citadel, I was able to link to the devices the Shadow Broker's team placed to monitor the AI found on the Presidium." EDI's iris opened and closed as she spoke without pause. "Based on the data already collected, I am able to verify with near certainty that the signals are coming from the AI you described: The Intelligence. Would you like for me to notify the Shadow Broker?"

"Do it," Shepard said after a moment of internal conflict between the others. "But tell him to delay any other actions for the time being. I need some time to think about this, and after what happened …." She rubbed a hand over her face. "I guess you wouldn't know. Thane, his friend Avalina, and the two Shadow Broker agents aboard encountered a reaper artifact while placing the devices. It rendered them unconscious. They were out of contact for two days. A keeper dragged them away from the artifact and Thane called Garrus for help once he was coherent enough to do so."

"If there is one artifact, there are likely others spread throughout the Citadel," EDI said.

"Exactly." Shepard nodded. With the conversation focused on things she might actually have an ounce of control over, she found the tension easing from her chest and shoulders. "I called in Mordin, and he said they're not showing any signs of indoctrination, but …."

EDI finished her thought by saying, "Indoctrination may not make itself known right away."

"Right." Shepard nodded again and crossed her arms, relaxing her weight back to one hip.

"I'll adjust priorities to monitor Thane and the others for unusual behavior while aboard the _Normandy_ and report any significant findings to you at once," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard scraped her teeth over her lip. She didn't like the idea of having EDI spy on Thane or anyone else for that matter, but if they _were_ indoctrinated, she was the best one around to catch any strange behaviors. "Send a report to Mordin and Dr. Chakwas, too."

"Very well, Shepard." EDI paused half a second before adding. "Miranda has taken control over Cerberus, she is now identifying herself as Persephone. The Illusive Man's status is unknown. Do you intend to pursue him yourself?"

Scoffing, Shepard dropped a little steel and venom into her voice. "You're damn right I do." After the shit he did to Jack, there was no way in hell Shepard would stop hunting him until she knew for a fact he was dead.

"Then I will continue to monitor communications for any indication of his survival and whereabouts," said EDI.

* * *

"It's so good to see you again, Commander Shepard!" Kelly greeted Shepard the moment she stepped back off of the elevator, forcing Shepard to put a smile on her face.

"Hey, Kelly." Shepard moved toward the galaxy map platform, but the yeoman caught her by surprise, stepping in front of Shepard and throwing her arms around her in a crushing hug. A titter of genuine laughter spilled out of Shepard, and she returned the embrace, patting Kelly on her back. "It's good to see you, too."

"Sorry," Kelly said, pulling back to look at Shepard but still not letting her go. A faint blush colored her cheeks, and she batted her eyelashes. "I'm told I can get a little over-enthusiastic, sometimes."

"It's alright." Shepard took a couple of steps back, disentangling herself from the other woman. "How have you been?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that question." Kelly waved a dismissive hand. "I've been just fine, but really, how are _you_?"

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, resigned to carrying on a conversation she didn't really want to have, Shepard shrugged. "I'm doing better. Not a hundred percent just yet, but I'll get there."

Despite the distance she put between them, Kelly leaned in and squeezed her shoulder, a consoling smile on her face. "Of course you will, and I'm always here, anytime you need to talk. Oh! I almost forgot. I had all of your things brought to your cabin and personally put everything away. It's just how you left it, or at least as close as I could get … Spike's even back in his tank."

Shepard blinked a few times before slowly nodding her head. "Oh … thanks. You didn't have to do that, but thanks."

"You're welcome." Kelly dropped her hand from Shepard's shoulder and turned back to her workstation. "You have new messages waiting for you at your terminal. Let me know if you need anything else."

Shepard just smiled at her before moving on to the laptop set up for her use next to the galaxy map. At the top of a long, overwhelming list of messages, from people who must not have known she was out of commission, was a message from 'Persephone'. Snorting softly, she pushed her hair behind her ear and opened the message.

_Shepard:_

_I was glad to hear from you. It sounds like you've improved significantly. Still, take more time if you need it, the _Normandy'_s yours, you can find some place more restful than the Citadel for another few weeks or so. And because I know you won't do that: Come see me as soon as possible so I can at least check on your implants and make sure everything is working properly. Also … it would just be good to see you and catch up._

_\- Persephone_

Smiling, Shepard hit 'reply'.

_Persephone:_

_I guess that's better than 'The Illusive Woman'._

_I have some things to do which are time pressing … I'm taking Thane home, he's gotten sicker and needs to spend time with his son. Mordin's with me, he came to the Citadel to check in on something, it's a long story. He says he needs to get back to the female krogans, but he thinks they might be stable enough to take home and we can tie up a few loose ends while we're there. So it might be a little while, but I'll come see you the first chance I get._

_Be careful who you trust there._

_\- Shepard_

She didn't have it in her to deal with the rest of the messages in her inox just then, so she logged out and closed the laptop. Stepping up to the galaxy map, she kept her gaze down, avoiding the prying eyes watching her as much as dreading looking anywhere near the cockpit. The map sprang to life for her, all of the old markers she'd had EDI place popped up over the map, denoting everything from Cerberus locations to heretic activity.

"EDI?" She didn't wait for a response, knowing the AI was always listening. "Clear the map, please."

"Would you like to permanently delete the changes you've made?" EDI asked.

"Uh …" Shepard said, pursing her lips, "… save a copy, in case we need it for some reason later."

"I have added it to my archives. Is there anything else I can do for you?" asked EDI, voice still … detached.

"Not at the moment, thanks, though." Shepard watched as the map reset itself.

"Of course." Apparently, without Thane around and with her self-imposed emotional shackles, EDI lost her taste for formal etiquette. "Logging you out, Shepard."

Shepard stared at the map for a couple of minutes, working out a plan of diplomatic attack. Sur'Kesh and Tuchanka were already on her immediate list of places to go after Kahje. If nothing else came up right away, she'd go see Miranda and Grundan Krul after they cured the genophage. Then … Rannoch, Palaven, Earth, Dekuuna, and Thessia. There wasn't any point in figuring out a specific order, not when she knew damn well there'd be a million little things cropping up in between to send her all over the galaxy.

She didn't necessarily need to go through the hassle of visiting Irune, what with the volus being a client state of the turians. And the vorcha were simply too stupid and disorganized to be of any real use without the time and training she couldn't afford to give them. Though still, desperate times …. She'd put them on the backburner for the time being, just in case, right along with the raloi—who probably hightailed it back to Turvess the second the Council openly admitted the reapers were real and coming. There might also be some use in reaching out to the virtual race, those some four hundred or so who swapped consciousnesses with other races to be able to inhabit an actual body again. Their technology was apparently advanced enough for the Council to want it kept secret.

"_What about the yahg?" _Humor flooded the connection they had to Jane.

They took a moment to consider it, despite the obvious sarcasm, before they said, "If we have to."

"I'm sorry, Commander, did you say something?" Kelly asked, drawing their attention to her.

"Just thinking out loud." They gave the yeoman the best smile they could muster.

* * *

The last few days filled with one too many devastating events, and so soon after she'd finally forced herself to pull her shit together, left her feeling shaken and unsteady. Even more so than what was to apparently be her new 'normal'. Before The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary, Shepard never would've even thought of asking both Garrus and Thane to spend the night in her cabin with her at the same time. She didn't think she'd make it through the night without both of them by her side, though.

Surprisingly, they seemed to handle the request with relative ease. She figured it was because they both knew she was still broken and didn't want to risk upsetting her again. Not to mention, neither really wanted to let her go after she went mentally AWOL on them last time they were on the ship.

The gentle sounds of Garrus' snoring at her back _almost_ drowned out the faint wheeze and rattle of Thane's breathing. She shifted her head a little further onto his chest, listening closely to the hated sound.

"It's not fair," she thought. "None of this is fair."

"_I know," _said Jane, voice soothing. "_It never is. I'm sorry, I wish you didn't have to go through this. Any of this."_

"If there is an afterlife—I mean … you know what I mean. Do you think Irikah will be kind to him when he gets there?" Shepard thought. She'd never really believed in an afterlife before Jane. Hell, she still wasn't sure she believed in an afterlife in the traditional sense, but for the first time in a long, long time, she hoped she was wrong.

"_Honestly, I don't know." _Jane seemed to consider it for a few seconds before adding, "_He really _wasn't _exactly a good husband. Not because he returned to assassinating people, but because of how he let himself drift away from her and Kolyat. He's not the same man anymore, though. Her death set things in motion for him to change, to work toward becoming a better person, but she never would've died if not for his profession and absence."_

Swallowing, she fought back the sting of tears. The near-constant crying was beginning to make her despise herself. They'd gone through hell and back a hundred times over in just _one_ of their lifetimes without falling apart. Since Jane made herself known, though, it seemed like all she did was cry. Not that she blamed Jane; she didn't even really blame herself. It just sucked. She was supposed to be some—as Zaeed would've said—big goddamn hero, not a blubbering mess.

"Remind me in the morning to ask EDI if she can pull up some old footage with Zaeed," Shepard thought. "Maybe we can find a few stills to put in a frame."

"_Alright. You should ask Grundan Krul about the Andromeda Initiative Garrus mentioned, too," _Jane said.

"Andromeda Initiative?" Shepard thought, furrowing her eyebrows. She didn't know what Jane was talking about, but no sooner than she managed the thought, the others—the 'us'—informed her. "Zaeed had a son?"

"_Apparently," _Jane said.

Garrus nuzzled against her shoulder, tightening his grip on her waist. "Go to sleep, Dawn," he whispered next to her ear. "You'll need the rest."


	2. Kahje

**Chapter 2: Kahje**

Rain pattered against the shuttle, sounding out a funeral dirge, and silent tears rolled down his siha's cheeks in tune to the mournful beat. Thane came to terms with his impending death long ago, but sitting there, holding Shepard's hand as they descended through Kahje's atmosphere, he realized just how much of a fool he'd been. He didn't want to die. He wanted to live, to be by her side and help carry her through the looming darkness nipping at her heels. He wanted to live and learn about what kind of man his son would be in the years to come.

Would Kolyat marry and have children of his own? Might … might Thane one day be a grandfather? He swallowed against a knot in his throat, imagining himself as an old man, picking up a small boy and twirling him through the air as he 'danced crazy' with his grandson. Instead, Kolyat and any children he may have would live out their lives without him as he watched from Kalahira's distant shores. He prayed to Arashu that Kolyat would be a better husband and father than the examples Thane showed him as a child.

Thane wanted to live, but he'd waited far too late. The things Mordin offered, experimental procedures with the potential to extend his life, came at unacceptable costs. He refused to ever be such a burden on Shepard or Kolyat. Mordin didn't offer _life_ he offered … a continued existence. One filled with both physical and psychological anguish, and one which would likely slowly shatter the souls of those he loved far worse than his simply dying might.

He knew some part of his decision, perhaps a larger part than he'd truly like to admit, came from the threat to his dignity and pride. The thought of being so utterly dependent on others for his every need was simply more than his wounded ego could handle. And yet, a part of him wanted to curl into a ball, pound his fists against the ground while wailing, pleading with Arashu to save him and cursing Kalahira's very name. He held that part of himself at bay, shrouding his mind in his battle sleep just enough to keep all but the gentlest waves of emotions from washing over him … so he could be strong for _her_. For _his _siha.

Horror washed over him, shredding his battle sleep, as he realized she couldn't hold on to all of the memories they shared together, not the way a drell could. When he left her, it'd be with nothing but the same handful of memories the other Shepards experienced, burned into their consciousnesses through repetition. The memories of _other_ Thanes. Eventually, _their_ time together would fade.

"Siha," he said, nearly flinching at the panic in his own voice as he tightened his grip on her hand.

Turning her head to look at him, fear danced in her eyes. "What? What happened? What's wrong?"

"No, I—my apologies … I only wanted …." His eyes felt damp, and certainly his throat intended to close entirely and suffocate him right then and there.

"Thane?" She shifted in her seat, turning to face him more fully. Pressing a hand to his cheek, her violet eyes drowned in worry.

The tears began to fall so fast, her face distorted in his vision. "I love you, siha. I love you with all that I am, and I …." He took a shuddering breath, his fingers trembling in her grip. "I fear one day, our time together will fade from your memories. I know you have the memories from Jane and the others, but the thought of you losing what _we_ have together …."

He knew by the look in her eyes and the mask slipping over her face that she didn't believe it'd even be possible. He knew she didn't expect to survive the war, and something far worse than death awaited her if she remained unable to find a viable solution to whatever force created Jane and the others. Grabbing the back of her head, he pulled her closer, lips crushing hers as he tried to convey something to her which he didn't quite understand himself enough to put into words. As he tasted the hint of mint on her tongue, he realized the last night they spent together making love on the Citadel, some part of him already feared his death through the loss of her memories far more than he feared the death of his flesh.

The shuttle landed, the sounds of rain easing, and he broke the kiss. Pressing his forehead to hers, he held her there a moment longer, tears still streaming down his face, and he said, "You must _live_, siha. You are so much stronger than this thing that binds you and the others. You _must live_ and make yourself _whole_ again."

* * *

Steps faltering when his roaming gaze snagged onto his son, Thane tightened his grip on Shepard's hand. He didn't feel certain he'd be able to convince himself to keep moving toward Kolyat if she wasn't there with him. As much as he wanted to be a part of Kolyat's life and to try, no matter how fruitlessly, to make up for the past, he didn't want Kolyat to see him wither and die. Kolyat was no longer a child, though, and if he wished to stay by his father's side during the darkest moments, it was his decision to make … and Thane needed to respect his choice.

The crowd parted, and Thane saw Rone and Kolyat's other uncle, Drali, waiting next to him. When Drali spotted Thane, he flashed a disarming smile. A moment later, Rone's and Kolyat's gazes sought him out, and the three began moving toward Thane and Shepard. Thane's pulse quickened, not enough to be concerning, but certainly more than enough to cause him shame. They were his family, he shouldn't wish to flee from them. And yet he did.

Distracting himself, he leaned in a little closer to Shepard and kept his voice low as he told her, "Irikah's youngest brother, Drali. He's … very enthusiastic—much like The Unwed. He has spent much of his time away from Kahje and taken on behaviors of many other species, particularly humans and asari. You might find his personality to be rather … vibrant in comparison to myself, Feron, and even Kolyat."

She smiled, curiosity and mischief dancing in her eyes a moment before fading once more. "I promise not to shoot him."

He chuckled, lifting their entwined hands to kiss her knuckles. "Let's pray he doesn't give you reason to want to."

"Father," Kolyat said as they approached, and then, to Thane's surprise and delight, he held his arms open for an embrace.

Letting go of Shepard's hand, Thane stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his son. "Kolyat, I've missed you."

"And I you." Releasing Thane, Kolyat took a step back and tucked his hands behind his back before bowing slightly to Shepard. "Thank you, Commander, for returning him from your mission safely." Before she could respond, he turned slightly toward Drali and waved a hand in the other drell's direction. "Allow me to introduce my uncle, Drali, and of course, you've met Rone."

Thane fought to keep the surprise from his face. Indeed, his time spent with his aunts and uncles seemed to have helped recenter Kolyat. He carried himself with decorum, quite unlike the last time Thane saw him in person. Heart swelling with pride as he looked over his son, Thane watched Kolyat with a smile on his face.

"Ah, the famed human Spectre, Commander Shepard!" Drali closed the space between the two of them, grabbed Shepard by the shoulders, and—ignoring her tense stance and widened eyes—kissed her on the cheek. "It's wonderful to meet you. I feel like I should ask for an autograph!"

Chuckling, she handled the situation with as much grace as ever. "You wouldn't be the first. It's a pleasure to meet you." Edging closer to Thane when Drali let her go, she turned her attention to Rone. "And it's good to see you again."

Rone smiled and dipped his head. "As it is you."

"Brother," Drali said, voice losing the jovial tone it carried a moment before, as he moved to embrace Thane. "I was so saddened to hear of your condition. If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask."

Thane leaned into the gesture when Drali pressed his cheek against Thane's. Many years passed since he'd last seen the sand-colored drell, and only rarely before that, but he found he rather liked the kind-hearted nature of the normally playful man. "My thanks." Pulling back, Thane settled a hand on Drali's shoulder and squeezed. "And you, Brother, how are you?"

Drali smirked and lifted his brow ridge. "At the moment: jealous."

Confused, Thane tilted his head slightly. "Indeed?"

"Mmm, yes." Drali glanced at Shepard, and his grin widened. "You've managed to win the heart of the galaxy's most famous and beautiful human."

Shepard snorted, an embarrassed sounding chuckle escaping her mouth, and Drali's eyes flashed with triumph.

Thane smiled, moving his hand from Drali's shoulder to the back of the man's neck, giving him a little shake. "Indeed. She's also the galaxy's most dangerous human, so perhaps you shouldn't test your luck, Brother."

* * *

~696969~

Saying goodbye to Thane was more difficult than she'd hoped, trying so hard to convince herself that leaving him on Kahje with his family was a good thing. She wished to all hell Garrus had come planetside with them, because the moment she stepped away from Thane, it felt like her whole world came crashing down around them once again. If not for the others keeping her on her feet and propelling her toward the domed city's exist, she might've collapsed right there in the middle of the commons area.

Thane had been willing to allow Garrus to join them, for her sake, but she didn't want to cause a stir among the hanar. Not when she still needed to talk to the Illuminated Primacy. Fat, heavy drops of warm rain assaulted her when she left the protection of the dome, the humidity making her feel as if she were trudging through the sea itself. Crawling back into the shuttle, she closed the door behind her and took a seat. Resting her elbows on her knees, she scrubbed water from her face and hair before letting out a sigh and glancing toward the front of the shuttle.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked Feron, the drell having been the ideal person to navigate the shuttle down to Kahje's surface and play tour guide.

He glanced over his shoulder at her, giving her a soft smile. "Whenever you are, Shepard."

Sucking in a deep breath, she rubbed a hand over her face again and said, "Let's get this over with."

* * *

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as she and Feron walked side by side through the darkness. For some reason, when the drell told her if she wanted to speak to the Illuminated Primacy, they'd have to go into 'the caves', she didn't think he meant it _literally_. The only light to guide their path was the bioluminescence of hanar coming and going from the cave. She thought about turning on her omni-tool's flashlight app, but something about the solemness of the atmosphere and the way Feron moved once inside told her it'd probably be perceived as an insult.

So, she had to rely on the potentially-indoctrinated-more-or-less-a-stranger agent of the Shadow Broker to lead her to her destination instead. It comforted the others knowing they could rip the drell to shreds in seconds if he did anything stupid. She _really_ didn't want to have to hurt Feron, though, knowing how much he meant to Liara.

Would've meant to Liara.

The tunnel system opened up into a vast cavern, bioluminescent algae climbing the walls and filling crevices in the stone. The back of the cavern led down into a pool of water, likely fed directly from the ocean. Hanar swam in the water, their flashes of light turning the pool into a beautiful light show. Others hovered, clustered together with one another, speaking only in silent flickers of light.

Shepard started to head toward the nearest group, but Feron grabbed her upper arm, pulling her to a halt. She looked at him, confusion and annoyance the most prominent emotions they felt, ready to knock him on his ass. Wide-eyed, he gave them a slight shake of his head and tugged, urging her back to his side. Sighing, she crossed her arms and waited, willing to follow his lead for the time being. A moment later, a group of four hanar made their way from the pool at the back of the cave and wandered over to Shepard and Feron, their attention fixed on the drell.

"These ones are surprised to see a human in The Halls of the Enkindlers," one of them said.

"I present the Council Spectre, Commander Shepard," Feron said, waving at her before taking a step back.

With the formal introduction, the four hanar turned toward her, acknowledging her directly for the first time.

"The Illuminated Primacy welcomes you, Spectre Shepard," another spoke.

Shepard felt fairly certain they knew damn well who she was right from the start, but it didn't really make a difference to her. "Thank you. I've come to talk about what the hanar and drell are doing to prepare for the reaper invasion."

* * *

Three hours into her 'conversation' with the Illuminated Primacy and Shepard wanted to rip out her own hair. "No," she said, stern voice echoing off the walls of the mostly empty chamber they'd taken her to, for privacy's sake. "It's not _enough_. You don't understand. The reapers don't give a _shit_ about your planetary defenses. They're not going to see your big fucking guns and think, 'Oh, maybe we should just skip the hanar this Harvest.'"

She stopped her pacing and sucked in a slow, deep breath, habit leading her into the breathing exercises Thane taught her. Turning, she looked at the assembly of hanar and drell electives. "The _only_ way _any of us_ are going to survive this war is if we _all_ work together. Think about it for a moment. The hanar worship the Protheans … what do you suppose happened to them? If they weren't able to stave off the reapers' attacks with all of their advanced technology and might, what in the world makes you think the hanar can do it alone?"

The room erupted into a cacophony of hanar and drell voices as everyone began speaking at once, some to her, some to each other. Feron slunk off to the shadows shortly after the meeting began, but she felt him watching her nevertheless. She suspected he was recording her, taking notes to add to the Shadow Broker's archives, but she didn't give a damn. Flaring with biotics, Shepard drew everyone's attention back to her.

Allowing the blue flames to dwindle with the noise, she said, "I understand how important it is for the hanar to protect Kahje. I know these waters serve as a cradle for your young, and if anything were to poison the waters in whatever form, your entire species would be at risk of extinction." Gaze roaming over the crowd, she took in hanar and drell alike. "I know how close to extinction the drell already are. Please understand that I'm not asking you to take this kind of risk lightly. The reapers _are_ coming. We're running out of time, and if we don't work together, we're _all_ dead."

"What exactly _are _you asking of us, Spectre?" It was a drell's voice, feminine sounding, but Shepard didn't catch who spoke the words.

The room fell utterly silent while they awaited her response. She lowered her gaze, shifting into parade rest, and focused on her breathing for a moment. "The homeworlds will be among some of the first to be hit when the reapers arrive, and they will be hit the hardest. The loss of the Council homeworlds along with Irune will cause the most devastating blows to the galactic community as a whole; disrupting communications, trade, the reallocation of credits, the movement of fighting forces, access to resources including fuel and food, particularly for the dextro species. Major pressure points like the Citadel will become overrun with refugees, the lack of adequate space and supplies to support their numbers will cripple these hubs."

Scanning the crowd again, she continued, head held high. "The hanar may not be able to aid the galaxy in ground-based combat, but you _can_ prepare your fleets for strikes from orbit, air, and sea. So do that, and be prepared to take them where they're needed most, wherever that may be.

"The Compact has trained many drell to complete specialized tasks. Yes, many of those skills are for mundane things which may not seem to have any use in the war, but I am certain there will be a need for every skill imaginable. Others," she said, swallowing back a rising lump in her throat as she thought of Thane, "have been trained in various forms of warfare from all out combat to espionage and assassination. Put their skills to use to serve the galaxy as a whole and not just the hanar." Some part of her felt surprise at the lack of denial from the hanar when she mentioned assassins.

She paced a few, slow steps, thinking through what to say next. "Drell who aren't personally beholden to The Compact, consider what you might be able to do to lend aid. If you want to help but you aren't sure what to do, contact me, and I will personally find a place to put you to work where you'll best be able to help if need be.

"In the meantime, the hanar and drell can work to produce and stockpile valuable resources and commodities. Medi-gel, food, medicines, clothing, blankets … you get the point." Letting out a deep breath, she let her last words linger, giving everyone the chance to think over what she'd said.

Several long minutes passed in utter silence, not even a single flash of bioluminescence.

"This one is curious as to how long we have to prepare." A hanar on her far left was the first to break the standstill.

"Weeks," Shepard said, "two or three months at most. Like I said, we're running out of time. The Council has been sitting on this, denying it to the public since Saren and Sovereign attacked the Citadel. I tried my best to put out a warning, and I'm still out here trying to pull everyone together, but soon, I'll be on the front lines and all of you will have to work through these things on your own."

One of the hanar separated from the pack to move out onto the floor. "The Illuminated Primacy has heard your words, Spectre Shepard, and it has found the wisdom in what you speak."

"As do we," said one of the drell as she stepped forward and bowed to Shepard.

* * *

~696969~

Thane stood in front of one of the clear panels, gazing out of the window and off toward the direction of the _Normandy_, if it still waited above the massive blanket of clouds covering Kahje. He wondered if Shepard had any success in convincing the Illuminated Primacy to heed her advice for war preparations. He'd done everything within his power to ensure her presence in The Halls of the Enkindlers wouldn't cause an uproar. His reach only went so far, however, and his siha had a tendency to become frustrated when she believed someone behaved foolishly. He would've liked to have gone with her, but the strain of his lungs made it impossible to spend so much time outside of the environment controlled city.

"Father?"

Glancing over his shoulder before turning to face his son, Thane tucked his hands behind his back. "Kolyat." He smiled and shook his head. "It's irrational, but a part of me still expects to see a child every time I look at you. Ah, but you have grown into such a handsome man."

Kolyat gave him an almost wry smile and stepped further into the room. "Many beautiful women agree with you."

Thane chuckled, but his laughter shifted into a coughing fit. He covered his mouth with a fist and averted his gaze, turning to hide his suffering from Kolyat as much as he could. His chest burned, and for a moment, his vision darkened around the edges before the attack abated.

"There's a hospital on Enkindler's Pass, it's said to be the best for Kepral's Syndrome care."

Bowing his head, Thane took a moment to stare at the speck of blood left on his hand before brushing it away with his thumb. "There is nothing they can do for me." Sighing, he turned to look at Kolyat once more. "The disease has progressed beyond any current treatments. I haven't long at all left, Kolyat, and I don't wish to die in a hospital."

"How long?" Kolyat asked, jaw twitching with his suppressed emotions.

"Dr. Solus last examined me three days ago." Thane glanced out the window for a second or two before turning his attention back to Kolyat. "He said no more than a few weeks … it may be less on Kahje, but I wish to be at home, with you. Please try to understand, my son."

With a biting, bitter edge to his voice, Kolyat waved a hand. "What other choice have I, Father?"

* * *

"Hello, siha," Thane said, watching the flashing light on his console which informed him the device was actively recording. "Perhaps it is overly sentimental of me, but I can't ignore my fears. I choose to believe you will survive this war, and I don't wish for you to ever forget the time we shared together. So, I have decided to send you … mementos. A few precious memories I hold the most dear. I think I'll start with the time we first met." He pulled the memory forefront, allowing it to fill his awareness and gave over to the urge to put words to the scene playing out in his mind's eye.

"_I move through the Citadel, tracking the flow of the crowd to follow the path of least resistance. I draw no attention to myself, make no contact as I pass by. Despite the rarity of my species, no one takes notice of a drell walking amongst them. Why would they? Those who are given leave to move freely throughout the Presidium rarely see beyond whatever shiny things sparkle at them from store windows._

"_I detect a shift in the atmosphere of the crowd, a disturbance of some sort in the direction from which I came. I keep moving, putting distance between myself and whatever has caused the upset. I realize the disturbance seems to be moving through the crowd at a more rapid rate, not far behind me. Gaining on me. I am being followed._

"_I … lead my pursuer to an alley. Jump. Grab the ladder and climb to the catwalks to wait. A human, female … dark hair. Well armed and armored. She glances toward the catwalks, and I recognize her face. Humanity's Spectre, Commander Shepard._

"_I lower myself, drop from the catwalks. Feet silent as I land behind her, she doesn't even flinch. My hands slide around smooth, warm skin, hair brushing across my hands as I prepare myself to snap her neck. 'Why are you following me, Spectre?' She stands quite still, evidence of her training and intelligence. Most would try to turn, fight. They would die for their efforts._

"'_You know who I am?' There is a hint of excitement … hope to her voice. 'Everyone knows who you are. You are the first human Council Spectre; Alliance Commander Shepard. I will ask you again: Why are you following me, Spectre?' She hesitates. 'I'm not sure.' Her words sound honest enough, but they are nonsensical. 'Forgive me if I do not believe that you randomly chose someone to follow into a dark alley.'_

"'_No, it wasn't random. But you wouldn't believe the truth if I told you, Krios.' My name from the lips of a stranger drains the heat from my body. 'You know my name. You speak it with familiarity.' Patience for this woman's games runs thin. 'Yes. You're Thane Krios.' Few know my name, even fewer associate my name with my face. For a Spectre to know both, does not bode well. It alone is enough for me to send her to the sea, but I wait. I need to know her intentions. 'Then you also know exactly how unwise it was for you to follow me.' She hesitates again. 'In hindsight, yes.'_

"_Nothing the woman says makes any sense. Shift my fingers against her neck, find her pulse. Rotate her head, force her to meet my gaze, watching her pupils. Still, she makes no effort to resist. 'Have you come to attempt to arrest me?' Pupils dilate briefly, eyelids opening wider, neck muscles twitch as her head attempts to retract. Shock. Pupil dilation reverses, constricts. Brows furrow, lips turn down slightly. Disgust. 'What? No!' She has not come to apprehend me, and the thought disturbs her. Interesting._

"'_To kill me?' Anger flashes through her eyes, pupils return to normal size, jaw twitches. 'Absolutely not.' I am intrigued but remain cautious. 'I am a man of patience by trade, Spectre, but I will not wait all day.' She stares into my eyes as if willing me to see her truth. 'In just over two years, you're going to join me to take down a race known as the collectors. By that point, they will have abducted several human colonies. I will find you again on Illium when you make your move to kill an asari named Nassana Dantius, and ask you for help.' Her eyes convey no lies; her pulse remains unnervingly steady._

"_I do not know what to make of her insinuations. I wonder if she has gone mad. Perhaps with the reaper indoctrination she argues with the Council about. 'What evidence do you have to support your claims?' She scoffs, the sound discordant with her current predicament. 'That's the question of the year.' Licks her lips, swallows. 'You're a religious man, Krios. Does your religion cover anything on reincarnation? Repeated lives? A chance to right whatever you did wrong?'_

"_At a loss and shaken to my core, I stare at her, saying nothing. Neither does she speak. Her gaze begins to roam over my face, drifting down to my lips. I detect the increase in her body heat, pupils begin to dilate, pulse quickens. It is the faint shift in her pheromones that strikes me as most odd. She is aroused. My brow ridge twitches unexpectedly. Slowly, I turn her head so she can no longer see me. Confused. Irritated. Curious. Disturbed. Emotions slipping past my battle sleep. 'You believe your words to be truth. Your lack of forethought will not cost you your life by my hand this day.' I release her and step away, watching her as she remains perfectly still. I turn and step into the shadows."_

Blinking to clear the memory, he took a shaky breath, fighting the tears stinging the backs of his eyes. "I often wish I'd joined you that day. Of course I can't know where it would leave us now, but the idea of a missed opportunity to spend more time by your side …. I love you, siha, and I pray for your strength in the days to come. Please, call me when you have the chance and tell me how your visit with the Illuminated Primacy went." He forced a teasing smile on his face, wanting the video to bring only pleasant feelings for her. "There is no news of a mass slaughter at The Halls of the Enkindlers, so I take this as a sign of your success."


	3. Back in Command

**Chapter 03: Back in Command**

Shepard leaned against the wall, arms crossed loosely beneath her breasts. The blue hologram waited patiently across from her, the refresh rate calm and soothing despite the continued lack of empathy in EDI's voice. Sucking in a deep breath, Shepard let her arms drop to the sides and then blew the breath back out forcefully enough to make her hair flutter. Scrubbing her hand over her face, she pushed off the wall and began pacing back and forth in front of Spike's tank, the thorned serpent studying her movements through the glass.

"Yeah …" she finally said. "Send out a signal. If the rachni queen hasn't been captured yet, getting them involved now might give us a bit of an edge."

"Very well." EDI waited a moment before asking, "Is there anything else I can do for you, Shepard?"

The AI's coldness was beginning to feel like adding insult to injury, a slap in the face, and yeah, it stung. "Reach out to Legion and see if the geth have what they need to finish Ket'yah and get started on repairing the next habitable city." Huffing, she shook her head. "It seems like a goddamned waste of resources. The reapers will probably just wipe out the reconstruction, but hell ..."

"It's a necessary waste if you wish to reunite the quarians before the reapers arrive," EDI said, her tone making it clear she couldn't care less one way or the other. "Legion has expressed pleasure at your recovery and indicated he would like for you to visit Rannoch at your earliest convenience. He has denied the need for any further assistance in acquiring resources, as the Shadow Broker has helped to establish trade between Rannoch and nearby systems."

"Oh, good. That's good." Shepard nodded to herself, running through her mental list of current objectives. "Okay … um … let him know I do plan on visiting Rannoch, but I can't commit to a specific time at this point. If something changes, if he needs me there sooner, tell him to let me know, and I'll do my best."

"He has acknowledged your statements." The iris of the hologram fluttered opened and closed. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Shepard?"

"_Ouch. I hate seeing her like this …." _Jane said.

Lips parted, Shepard stared at the blue pawn in silence for a moment. "Yeah … I'd really like it if you turned your emotions back—reactivated those parts of your behavioral heuristics or whatever so I can just _talk_ with my _friend_." She shook her head and turned for the door. "But what kind of friend would _I be_ if I forced you to do something you didn't want to do." Stepping out into the hall, she pushed the button for the elevator. "I don't need anything else right now, EDI."

"Logging you out, Shepard."

* * *

~696969~

Garrus hummed, studying the exhaustion in Jack's eyes as she told him about the children's progress at Grissom Academy. He missed her, but the feeling was somehow subtle and distant with Dawn back, even if having Dawn back also meant they were headed straight for trouble. When he'd told Jack the good news, a very obvious wave of relief rolled across her face. He didn't need to ask to know she felt relieved as much for his sake as for Dawn's.

"Matt's up and moving around now." Jack smirked and shook her head. "Little shit is milking what happened for everything he can get out of me. He cost me three-hundred and fifty credits last night, guilting me into getting a gaming console to hook up to the infirmary's vid screen."

Mandibles fluttering, Garrus chuckled. "These kids are making you soft, Jack."

"Fuck you." She sneered at him as she spoke, but the words lacked any real venom and love danced in her eyes.

"Hmmm." He flicked a mandible and put a little extra rumble in his voice. "I'd love to, but you're busy playing biotics instructor to a bunch of children light years away."

She scoffed, but he saw her hunger in the way her pupils dilated, and her lips took on an almost predatory tilt before softening once more. "Where is Alliance, anyway?"

"Oh, you know," he said, waving his free hand back toward the cabin's door, "off doing Shepard things. Talking to the crew. Looking at the galaxy map … avoiding the cockpit as if the continued existence of the universe depends on it."

"It's really her, then? Not—" Jack popped her shoulders up and tilted her head. "Fuck, you know what I mean."

"Yeah." He hummed and took a deep breath. "It's really her. She's as much Dawn as I think is possible anymore."

"Good." Studying him for a moment, she nodded to herself as if whatever she found there helped her make a decision. "Tell her … tell her to give me a couple more weeks, if she can, but I'll be ready when she gets here."

He fluttered his mandibles. "Jack … you know if you need … hmmm. She'd understand—I understand—if you don't want to get back into this mess after what happened to—"

"I said I was going to be there, I'll fucking be there," she said, brow furrowed and lip lifted in a genuine sneer. "Shit, you think some cuntface like the Illusive Man is going to break _me_? He ain't shit but a scared little pussy. I'm not hiding like him, not like some bitch. Not from him, not from the reapers, not from anybody."

"Alright, alright." Garrus threw his hand up in surrender. "I'm, hmm, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to say anything like that ..."

"Well, then what the fuck are you trying to say, Garrus?" Fire danced in her eyes, and he knew he'd somehow managed to put himself right into her crosshairs. "Are you trying to say _you_ _don't_ want me there?" Biotic flames licked at her skin, but she either didn't notice or just didn't care. "If you're fucking done with me, just say it. I don't have time for this bullshit."

"Spirits, Jack …. Of course I want you here." He growled and flicked his mandibles, her attitude bringing out his own agitation. "But only if _you_ really want to be here. I love you, and you know it, so stop with that crap."

Regret tugged at her features, and she lowered her gaze, giving him a good look at the top and side of her head, still healing scars cutting through her growing hair. "Does she still want me there?"

"What?" He flared his mandibles and shook his head with confusion. "Why would you even …. Yes, of course she does. Hell, she already has EDI trying to pinpoint the Illusive Man's location so she can come and get you before going after him again. She refuses to let it go, even with Miranda in charge of Cerberus, because she made a promise to you." Chuffing, he let out a sigh when she met his gaze again with damp eyes. "Why would you think she doesn't want you with us?"

"I fucked up," she said, voice cracking, "and he got away again because of me."

"Jack …." He hummed, wishing she was there with him already so he could pull her into his arms and hold her until she realized how ridiculous she was acting. "Trust me, that's the _last_ thing on her mind. Yeah, she's annoyed he's still alive, but she's not _blaming_ you. If anything, she's even more pissed because of what he did to you and to those kids you're looking after. When we find him, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she makes sure his death is slow and painful."

She sucked in a deep breath and rubbed her hand over her scalp. "Good, I don't plan on making it quick, either."

* * *

~696969~

Watching Thane's video for the third time in a row, Shepard wrapped her arms around herself and ignored the neverending stream of tears falling down her face. The deep, aching, twisting pain in her chest brought the others she shared a consciousness with to the forefront, their thoughts and emotions overrunning her own and dragging her down into the abyss, into the … the … the ...

"_Amalgamation._" The word cropped up, coming from one of the others just before they swallowed her whole.

Despite the agony, they reached over and hit the command on the console for the vid to replay.

Thane's face shifted on the screen, and he began speaking again. "Hello, siha. Perhaps it is overly sentimental of me, but I can't ignore my fears. I choose to believe you will survive this war—"

The door to the cabin slid open, drawing their attention away from the vid, though a part of them continued to listen even as their eyes found Garrus. He moved closer, studying the image of Thane on her laptop and hummed. Resting a hand on their upper back, he met their tear-streaked gaze.

"We're almost to Sur'Kesh," he said. "Mordin's waiting in the hangar. Do you want me to go down with you?"

"Yeah," they said, nodding their head and wiping tears from their eyes. Glancing back at the vid, they paused it and closed the laptop's lid. "Avalina, too." Pushing back from the desk, they stood and moved over to the top of the stairs before looking back over their shoulder. "We," they said and then stopped, realizing they'd referred to themselves as 'we'. Taking a deep breath, they licked their lips and changed what they'd intended to say, "We'll drop Mordin off at the STG base and then head to the meeting with the dalatrasses. Hopefully, by the time we're done there, he'll have the female krogans ready for transport to Tuchanka."

"Are you sure about Avalina?" He hummed and fluttered his mandibles before following her over to the stairs. "She seems alright, and Thane certainly trusts her, but … she _was_ hit by that pulse, too."

Glancing over their shoulder as they descended the stairs, they said, "I'm not sure of _anything_ anymore, Garrus."

* * *

Dawn managed to pull herself free—well, free enough—from the others to take control of things again on the shuttle ride down to Sur'Kesh. She kept her gaze steady on a spot of the interior wall a few inches away from Mordin's head, but she watched Avalina out of the corner of her eye. It was unnerving to think the asari had been inside of her head, seen all of her crazy … but if the commando had any doubts or concerns, she kept them to herself.

She'd filled Avalina in on the reaper invasion, from start to finish. Admittedly, it was kind of nice not having to try and lay out the whole stuck-in-a-cycle-doomed-to-repeat-the-war thing or trying to convince someone that she wasn't just completely insane. It also made the entire discussion go a whole hell of a lot quicker.

Avalina asked surprisingly few questions, and most of those had to do with what Shepard expected of her while a part of the team. All the while, Dawn and every other Shepard in her head studied the woman intently, looking for even the slightest hint of indoctrination. They didn't find anything unusual, but they also knew better than to simply offer blind trust to _anyone_. And Avalina was new. An unknown quantity. They didn't have any memories of her to draw on, and it made her dangerous for countless reasons.

At least Pelathya and Feron went back to the Shadow Broker's base. She liked Feron alright, but she really didn't need to worry about juggling _three_ potentially indoctrinated and deadly people aboard the _Normandy_. Who was she kidding? Every last person she crossed paths with was potentially indoctrinated, _including_ every damn person on the _Normandy_. She couldn't even say with any level of real certainty that _she_ wasn't indoctrinated.

Garrus rumbled softly beside her, drawing her attention. She glanced up at him, taking in the worried flicker of his mandibles, twitch of his nose, and narrowed eyes. Reaching over, she took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze before returning her attention to the spot on the wall. Just having him next to her … she thought she might just have the strength to keep on fighting.

When the shuttle touched down, she moved to open the door for Mordin. The old salarian smiled at her and stepped outside, knapsack slung over his shoulder. She followed him out and closed the door behind her, leaving Garrus and Avalina alone in the shuttle. She knew—if he listened hard enough—Garrus would hear their conversation beyond the steel and ceramic, but it wasn't him she didn't want to eavesdrop.

"Mordin," she called after the retreating professor.

Stopping in his tracks, he turned back to her. "Shepard? Forget something?"

Closing the distance between them, she shifted her weight to one hip and crossed her arms. "No, I just wanted to say … I truly believe you're doing the right thing, and I hope, someday, you do, too."

He gave her the warm, grandfatherly smile of his and settled his hands on her shoulders. "Already do." He pulled her into an embrace and patted her back before letting her go again. "Now, patients waiting. Also," he said, holding up a finger, "dalatrasses waiting."

"I think I'd almost rather deal with sick krogans," she said with a snort, relieved to hear he'd come around to seeing the plan to cure the genophage as just. She wanted to talk to him about it, but he was right, they both had things to do. "Too bad I don't know anything beyond basic first aid; I'd let you deal with the dalatrasses."

A disdainful sniff slipped out of him and he said, "Dalatrasses more cantankerous than sick krogans."

* * *

~696969~

Every inch of James either ached or burned, but he didn't dare move a muscle or make a sound. He'd endure the pain so his Bonita Gatita would stay asleep, laying curled up on the hospital bed with him. The beds really weren't all that big, they barely supported him, to be honest, but Kasumi was such a tiny thing. She fit nicely in the little space left beside him when she lay on her side, arm and leg draped over him.

Emilio shook out an extra blanket and spread it out over Kasumi before quietly returning to his chair next to James' bed. His uncle really looked like he needed to sleep, too, but James knew better than to say anything about it to Emilio. Instead, he closed his eyes, knowing the narcóticos in his IV drip would soon drag him under, and then, only once James slept, would Emilio allow himself to doze off.

James said a silent prayer, something he didn't do nearly as often as he ought. He prayed the pain wouldn't be so bad the next day and his wounds would heal fast. He needed to get back to Shepard. Even though Ídola was back in command, she'd been through hell and still needed him. He knew what was coming, they all did, and no hay manera en el infierno was he going to ride it out in a hospital.


	4. Extraneous

**Extraneous**

Avalina took one last glance around at the dense foliage surrounding the unimposing building before walking inside. It'd been countless cycles since she'd last stepped foot on Sur'Kesh, acting as a guard to a Thessian diplomat, but she didn't have an opportunity to really explore the planet then, either. She found salarians interesting, amusing, even. Their energy and curiosity reminded her of her daughter; when Tarava was still a child, young, innocent, and … alive.

Avalina really didn't know much about the Salarian Union, though, or truthfully even salarians as a people. Diplomacy and politics certainly weren't her strengths, either. Unless Shepard planned to kill the dalatrasses within the building, or perhaps blow up the building itself, she really wasn't sure why Shepard chose her for the mission. Although …. With Garrus present as well, the meeting _would_ have at least one person from each of the Council races present. Perhaps it was Shepard's intent all along; a subtle manipulation tactic to give her an edge in the dalatrasses' eyes. Thane had told her to expect more from Shepard than she appeared on the surface; as if melding with the Spectre hadn't revealed _so much more_ than _anyone_ could ever expect by simply looking at the woman.

Refocusing her train of thought as a salarian stepped through a door and into the sterile environment of the foyer, Avalina offered the young woman a smile when their gazes met. The salarian blinked a few times before returning the gesture, her gaze sweeping over the three of them before settling on Shepard. Without hesitation, she strolled forward, heading straight for Shepard but drew up short when Garrus issued a low, barely audible rumble and flicked his mandibles. Avalina suppressed the urge to laugh, instead, allowing herself nothing more than a soft snort and smirk. The turian glanced at her, mandibles twitching, before turning his attention back to the salarian.

"Commander Shepard," the salarian said, swiftly recovering her nerve, "the dalatrasses have been informed of your arrival and await you inside. If you'll leave your weapons here …" She waved at an empty counter. "… I'll escort you inside."

"We're keeping our weapons. I'm a Council Spectre, and these two are under my command." Shepard shifted her weight, glancing back at Avalina as if reassuring herself of something. Turning her attention back to the suddenly alarmed salarian, she added, "We'll wait here while you inform whomever you need to of my decision."

A moment of silence filled the air before the salarian blinked and dipped her head. "Of course, if you'll give me just a moment …." Turning on her heel, she scurried out of the room.

When the door slid closed behind the salarian, Shepard glanced at Avalina again and said, "Rule number one."

"We never relinquish our weapons," Garrus said, mandibles flaring, a grin lifting his mouth plates.

Shepard smirked and added, "Ever."

Avalina chuckled and dipped her head. "A reasonable rule." She was going to enjoy working with Shepard.

* * *

~696969~

Loosley crossing her arms, Shepard leaned her hip against the edge of the partition separating her team from the cluster of salarians sitting at a table across the room. The dalatrass and her kin, those beneath her in the hierarchy of things, watched Shepard in silence while they waited for the other dalatrasses joining them through vid-calls to cast their votes. Salarians were nothing if not prompt and concise. They were a breath of fresh air after dealing with the hanar. Of course, it helped that Shepard had already secured cooperation with the STG through Kirrahe and Mordin, not to mention Councilor Valern's work to pave her way and get his people ready for an attack.

Memories of bickering with the dalatrass aboard the _Normandy_ over whether or not to cure the genophage had bubbled to the surface every now and again, making it difficult for Shepard to stay focused on the conversations at hand. Still, she thought she'd done fairly well, and things seemed to move smoothly enough. It wasn't as if she was asking them to change much about what they were already doing. Hell, some of them seemed downright giddy with the potential scientific discoveries her suggestions offered.

"The votes are in," one of the aides said, drawing Shepard's attention back to the moment. "The Salarian Union has voted, unanimously, to divert resources into the research and development of mounted heavy-weapons capable of piercing reaper plating, synchronized mass weaponry, increasing the efficiency and damage capabilities of hand-held weaponry, lighter and more durable armor, as well as artificial intelligence targeted viruses, hacking, and disruptors."

"In addition," one of the dalatrasses on vid-call said, "we will send scientists to all homeworlds willing to accept our assistance to aid in researching and upgrading planetary and personal defenses, evaluate and inventory supplies, and increase the production of commodities such as food, medicines, and munitions."

"Councilor Valern has asked that we provide you with whatever resources you may require." The dalatrass from Shepard's memories—Shepard never did receive a name for the cranky, old woman—didn't seem at all pleased with the idea. She didn't need to be happy, though, she just needed to do her damn job. "Is there something else you need from us, Spectre?" Her tone made it clear she viewed Shepard as a burden, someone she placated out of obligation when she'd really rather demand Shepard get the hell off her planet.

"_She's always a bitch," _Jane said, the tone of her thoughts carrying her amusement. "_It's just like Mordin said, the sick krogans are less of a pain in the ass than the dalatrasses."_

Shepard agreed with Jane, but she didn't take the time to convey it with words. Instead, she shifted her weight and glanced at the vid-screens placed around the room before focusing on the woman sitting across from her in the flesh. "Yes. I'm taking the female krogans Dr. Mordin Solus has been caring for back to Tuchanka. I _need_ you to agree to their release _without_ argument." She held up a hand, palm outward, hoping to stave off the rebuttals to come. "Yes, I'm aware of their status, where they were found, and under what conditions. And yes, I realize they carry a potential cure for the genophage, and so does Urdnot Wrex. It doesn't matter. They're his people, taken from Tuchanka, and he wants them home. Holding them here goes against galactic law and risks provoking a war with the krogans."

The dalatrass scoffed and shook her head. "Doesn't matter? Commander, you clearly have no understanding of what the krogans are truly capable of. We _cannot_ allow the release of these females—_cannot_ allow the genophage to be cured!"

"When the reapers arrive, we're all going to _need_ krogan cooperation. If we don't do everything in our power now to make sure everyone works together, _no one_ will survive. But hey," Shepard said, flipping her hand through the air before tucking it back under her other arm, "at least the krogan will remain oppressed!" Shifting her weight to one hip, she took a deep breath and urged her voice back to something bland and neutral. "Returning the females now will help ensure krogan cooperation, I've already made arrangements with Urdnot Wrex. I'd like to take them peacefully, but I'm taking them with me either way; Spectre authority."

* * *

"Kirrahe," Shepard grinned, surprised to see the major waiting for her when the shuttle landed at the STG research facility again. Making her way over to him, she held out her hand. "It's good to see you."

"And you, Commander." Nodding, he shook her hand before falling into parade rest. "It's a relief to see you've recovered. You have my condolences."

Acid, thick and burning, filled her throat. She swallowed and her smile faltered. "Thank you." She didn't really know what else _to_ say. It didn't really surprise her to learn Kirrahe knew she'd had a … breakdown or whatever the hell her 'condition' was reported as, but it sure left a bitter taste in her mouth despite the remaining hints of bile.

"_Keep it together, Dawn." _Jane's voice sounded calm and soothing, almost like a mother cooing to a toddler who'd fallen and skinned their knee. "_You're okay. It's not a big deal, right?"_

The irony of Jane being the voice of reason made Shepard want to laugh until she cried and then laugh all over again. "I'm good," she thought. "It's fine."

Kirrahe studied her a moment, but if he picked up on her discomfort, he didn't comment. Shifting, he waved a hand toward the back of the first level of the research facility. "Solus asked that I escort you to his labs to prevent any unfortunate incidents with security," he said with a smile.

Jane snickered. "'_Unfortunate incidents.'"_

Shepard snorted and nodded. "Probably a good idea." Gesturing over her shoulder, she added, "This is Avalina, she just joined us, and of course you know Garrus."

Kirrahe eyed Avalina. "Commando?"

"Former," Avalina said, sounding amused. "STG?"

"Current." Kirrahe gave her a quick nod before shifting his attention to Garrus. "It's good to see you again. How's Jack?"

Garrus let out a soft rumble followed by a hum. "Physically, she's fine. She's looking after the kids that Cerberus was experimenting on." He took a deep breath, and Shepard took his hand, squeezing his fingers. "Mentally, she's coming to terms, but she's still angry."

"_Of course she is. Who wouldn't be?"_ Despite the blasé attitude of her words, the heartache Jane felt for both Garrus and Jack was strong enough to bring the sting of tears to Shepard's eyes.

"Anger is an understandable reaction, given the circumstances." Kirrahe pivoted and started walking toward the door, pleasantries apparently over with. "I'll take you to Solus."

Shepard gently tugged Garrus' hand, stopping him from following after the salarian for a moment. "Angry is sort of Jack's default setting." Shepard brushed her thumb over the back of Garrus' hand. "It's good, though, for her. It means she's refusing to allow what the Illusive Man did break her and keep her down."

Jane hummed her agreement. "_Exactly. She's been through hell and back a few times over, but it's only made her more determined and deadly."_

Leaning down, he bumped his forehead against hers and purred. "I know. She's strong, just like you." He chuffed. "Guess I have a type." Straightening himself, he flared his mandibles and cleared his throat. "Now, let's go see about these krogans so we can get to Tuchanka and deal with Wrex's ugly mug."

* * *

The Urdnot shaman stared at Shepard with the same unnerving, ancient wisdom as Samara had the first time they met in Dawn's lifetime. As if they saw something inside of her which escaped the awareness of everyone else she encountered. Shepard shifted under the scrutiny, ants crawling along her spine, and forced a smile on her face as Mordin kindly made formal introductions.

Shepard shook each of the krogans' hands, unflinching despite the fact the females were no gentler than the males of their species. "Are you ladies ready to go home?"

"Will need to transport in hyperbaric chambers." Mordin didn't give the krogans a chance to answer as he opened his omni-tool and started scanning them. "Free to move around ship; chambers can be stored in hangar until needed for descent to Tuchanka." He waved the omni-tool in front of Eve—Urdnot Shaman, Shepard had to remember to call the krogan Urdnot Shaman; not Eve and not Bakara. Nodding to himself, Mordin moved on to Gatatog Pamar. "Best to distribute weight and energy requirements of chambers across three shuttles. Asked Wiks and Kirrahe to aid in transport with STG shuttles."

"Sounds good." Shepard nodded, suddenly feeling … extraneous.

"_You're not extraneous," _Jane said, tone scolding.

"Aren't I?" Shepard thought in return.

They'd all moved on without her, learned how to take charge and handle things on their own. Not to say that Mordin was ever dependent on her in any way, none of them really were, but … they deferred to her command. Ran ideas past her and waited for her to give the green light before moving forward. She wasn't _needed_ anymore. She could die the next day, and they'd keep fighting. They'd win the war, with or without her. The thought filled her with a strange flood of emotions ranging from pride to shame, leaving her unbalanced as the amalgamation of Shepards she shared consciousness with fell out of sync.

"_No, you're not." _A hint of annoyance seeped through the connection to Jane. "_Even if—and it's a big fucking if—something happens to us and they handle shit on their own, we're still vital in the grand scheme of things. If not for us, Saren would've already opened the door for the reapers. They'd already be here. We'd all already be dead."_

Pacing away from the group, Shepard put a palm against the wall and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I know, Jane," she whispered. "I know. I just need a minute …." It felt like she was drowning, losing herself in the sea. "They … they—"

"Dawn?" The concerned trill in Garrus' soft voice as he settled a hand on the small of her back tugged her back to the surface, letting her fill her lungs with damp, Sur'keshian air. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," she said, using him as an anchor as she pulled herself together before turning to face him. "Just got overwhelmed for a second. I'm good."

"Are you sure?" His mandibles fluttered softly around his mouth, eyes focusing on her with a level of precision only a turian could pull off.

"Yeah." She brought a hand to his face and brushed her thumb over his mandible. "We'll talk about it later, okay? I promise."

"_Will you?" _It was as much a challenge as a genuine inquiry, but who could blame Jane when Shepard had a bad history of trying to keep things from Garrus.

"Yes," she thought. "I'm not hiding anything from him anymore. I've hurt him so much, and that's not something I ever wanted to do, not to him."

Stance relaxing, he nodded and turned his head to nuzzle against her wrist. "I'll hold you to it."

"I have no doubts." She chuckled and let her hand drop when he pulled away. "Alright," she said as she turned back to Mordin, finding a little steel to slip back into her spine. "Let's get them loaded up."

* * *

"Are you doing alright in there?" Shepard asked the shaman, watching her closely through the glass of her tank occupying the aisle of the shuttle.

Eve—Urdnot Shaman turned her head enough to look at Shepard. "Yes, thank you, Commander. It will be good to feel the heat of Aralakh once again." Her eyes crinkled as if smiling behind her veil. "Mordin tells me you are the one responsible for showing him the error of his ways. If this is true, then I suppose I owe you my life and the lives of generations to come."

"Nah, you don't owe me anything," Shepard said and then smirked. "Now Wrex, on the other hand …."

Urdnot Shaman let out a raspy chuckle. "He always spoke highly of you, as well. He said you convinced him to return to Tuchanka and knock some sense into our people."

It was Shepard's turn to laugh. "Well, I'm pretty sure those weren't my exact words, but it sounds like he's been doing a damn good job of uniting the clans." Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees to better look down into the tank. "He needs help, though. A calming influence with authority at his side … someone like an Urdnot shaman, maybe?"

"There's something about your eyes, Commander. You are very, very old for one so young. I see much wisdom and strength in you but also a level of psychic wear well beyond your years." Urdnot Shaman turned her head, gaze moving to the ceiling of the shuttle. "Rest well tonight, Commander, knowing your words haven't been lost to The Void. I will make sure the krogan are as prepared as possible to face the reapers when they come."

* * *

~696969~

Garrus wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her down onto his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. "What happened today? On Sur'Kesh?" He studied her violet eyes, praying to the Spirits she wouldn't try to brush it off or lie to him. His hold on her was tenuous, and she'd just come back to him. He doubted he'd be able to keep going if she slipped away again. His heart just couldn't handle it; perhaps literally.

She shifted a little on his knees, facing him a bit more directly, and settled an arm around his cowl. "While listening to Mordin, I realized that my stay in The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary forced everyone to keep going, keep working on war preparations without me. I'm glad, of course. It's important for the galaxy to carry on the fight and win whether or not I'm around to lead the defense. But it just …."

"It just what?" He hummed, rubbing his hand up and down the curve of her waist and hip.

"I guess it made me feel useless. Pointless." She tipped her head back and sucked a slow, deep breath in through her nose. "We—the others … we all had different feelings on the matter and things got … tumultuous for a minute."

He chuffed and shook his head. "You are the last person anyone could ever call useless or pointless."

"I'm still a mess, Garrus. Maybe even a liability at times. It'd be one thing if I was the only one who could do this; if I was the only one who really knew what we're facing … but I'm not." Meeting his gaze again, she looked a little lost, and her scent conveyed a hint of sadness. "I've passed on everything. To EDI, Anderson, you, the Shadow Broker …. I'm just not really _needed_ anymore."

He growled and tightened his grip on her hip. "You _are_ needed. I need you. Thane needs you. The whole damn galaxy _needs you_. We didn't stop needing you just because we did what we had to do without you or because you already provided us with vital information to fight this war. You are the heart of this resistance, Dawn. _You_ are our morale."

_Spirits, how can you not know this?_

Giving him a weak smile, she leaned in and pressed her forehead to his, and he closed his eyes. "I love you, Garrus. I'm fighting to hold on, to keep it together for you. I'm not so sure you're right, though. And that's okay. I'm not giving up, not going anywhere so long as I have any say in the matter."

Wrapping his other arm around her waist, he laced his fingers together and let out a grumbling rumble. "I love you, too, but you're wrong."

She snorted and lifted her head, so he opened his eyes and met her gaze. Their gaze, he supposed. She wasn't alone in there, she never really was, but it used to be a lot easier for him to pretend otherwise. He saw them, though, looking back at him through her eyes.

"And …" He fluttered his mandibles and swallowed. "… if any of the rest of you think the same thing, then you're wrong, too."

She moved the arm around his cowl and lifted her hand, ghosting her fingertips over his crest. He didn't know how he knew, what made him feel so sure, but it wasn't Dawn touching him just then. Bringing her other hand up, she pressed her palm to the side of his face and then kissed him. Her lips were soft, pliant, against his mouth plates, but she kept it innocent.

Pulling away again, she met his gaze and whispered, "We don't know what we'd do without you, Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian."

He hummed and leaned in to nip her lower lip. "There's no Vakarian without Shepard."

The scent of her growing arousal filled the air, calling to him. She slipped her hand beneath his crest, kneading the hide beneath, and he purred, a reflex as much as anything else. She kissed him again, lips parting and tongue teasing his mouth plates. He wasn't completely sure it was the best idea when she was referring to herself as 'we', but her touch weakened him in a way no one else's ever had. He opened his mouth and slid his tongue around hers, savoring the warmth of her mouth. She moaned and pushed in closer against him. Unlacing his fingers, he squeezed her waist, acutely aware of the building pressure behind his plates.

Breaking the kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers. His chest heaved with his restraint, but he needed to know before things went any further. He needed to know she was still with him, and it wasn't wrong of him to desperately want to be inside of her even when ... "Dawn—you're still—I mean …. You're, hmmm …." A trill escaped his throat laced with frustration and confusion as he struggled to put words to his thoughts, feelings, and desires. Damn it, he wanted her, no matter how many other Shepards were in there with Dawn. And maybe so long as she was aware in there and wanted it, too, it wasn't such a bad thing.

"Shh." She brushed her thumb along his mandible and said, "I'm still here, but they're a _part_ of me, Garrus. Now more than ever. I don't think I'll ever be _just_ Dawn."

Trepidation filled his nostrils, rolling off of her in thick waves. He pulled back to meet her gaze, finding fear in her eyes. He rumbled and brought a hand to her face, mimicking her gesture by brushing his thumb along her jaw bone. Spirits, he loved her more than life itself. He'd loved many of them, apparently. He'd never forget the faces he saw inside her head when Avalina took him and Thane inside of her mind. So many eyes latched on to him like he was the first drop of water they'd laid eyes on in years. He'd felt _so much_ love coming off of them ….

"I love you, Shepard," he said, choosing to use the name they all had in common. He swallowed and traced a fading scar along her cheek with a talon. "I always have, and I always will. So, hmmm …." He chuckled at his own awkwardness, thinking that part of him was long lost in his past. "I might need a little guidance here."

She closed the space between them and kissed him, lips lingering on his mouth plates as she whispered, "Make love to us, Garrus."


	5. Tuchanka

**Tuchanka**

"Hey, Grunt." Shepard leaned against the doorframe and scraped her teeth over her bottom lip. She smelled like Garrus and dread, and her voice sounded weird. Too soft and a little shaky.

"Shepard." Grunt shifted his weight to rest his palms on his workbench and studied her uncharacteristically meek posture. "About time. I thought you'd forgotten about me."

Lowering her gaze, she rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah … sorry I didn't come down here sooner. I'm still working things out in my head." She glanced at him and scrunched her face until her forehead wrinkled. "I wasn't sure if you'd really want anything to do with me after …."

A fistfull of insulting responses tumbled through his head, but he kept his mouth shut. Truth was, he didn't know how he felt about Shepard anymore. Didn't know how a _krogan_ should respond to such obvious signs of weakness in their battlemaster. He'd tried talking to his clan leader about it—the only other krogan he had any real connection to—but mentioning Shepard's hospitalization only seemed to put Wrex in a worse mood. Wrex ended up yelling at Grunt while saying Shepard was the strongest human to ever exist. He insisted she'd be back on her feet and ready for battle in no time.

Well, she was back on her feet. Grunt wasn't so sure how she'd hold up in battle.

Clearing her throat, she gave him a weak smile and took a few steps closer, stopping in the middle of the room. "We're headed to Tuchanka. We've got a few other krogan, females, we're taking home. One of them is an Urdnot shaman. I thought you might …" She shrugged. "… I don't know, want to spend some time talking to her or something."

"Why?" He shook his head. What would be the point? He knew that as a member of Clan Urdnot, he needed to show the shaman deference, but what would he have to talk to her about? Unless there was some other krogan rite he needed ….

She chuckled and shrugged again, scent slowly shifting to something neutral and more familiar. "History and culture lessons?" Letting out a soft sigh, she closed the distance to the table and leaned her hip against the metal edge. "Or even just to share battle stories? Come on, you should spend more time around your people than what you get the chance to while spending all of your time on the _Normandy_."

He blinked and watched her for a moment, still trying to wrap his head around the way humans thought. "Okay. Where are we going after Tuchanka?"

"I'm not sure, yet." Relief rolled off of her in thick clouds. Humans were strange. "We have a lot to do before the reapers arrive. I've got a list, but I expect new things to crop up and for priorities to shift as we go."

"Will there be fighting?" he asked, both anticipating the chance to kill something and to have the opportunity to see if Shepard really was still _Shepard_.

She snorted and smirked. "Undoubtedly. Maybe not at our next stop, but you know we'll find a fight sooner or later."

"Good." He hummed and nodded, satisfied for the time being. "Miranda thinks the Illusive Man might've survived the last fight. He didn't _look_ alive, but she insisted he could pull through if Kai-Leng provided first aid quick enough."

"Yeah," she said, scent taking on an angry edge as she sucked on her teeth. "Don't worry. I have no intention of letting it go until I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the sonofabitch is dead."

Grunt chuckled and reached over to slap her on the back, making her lurch and cough. "Glad to have you back, Shepard."

* * *

Grunt stepped into the tech lab and glanced around, taking in Mordin and the three krogan females. Shepard didn't tell him anything about the shaman, so he didn't really know which one she wanted him to talk to so much. All three females turned to look at him, curiosity in their gazes.

One wore robes complete with head and face coverings, her eyes the only real visible feature. "You must be Urdnot Grunt," she said, pushing herself up from the cot and making her way closer. "The commander spoke highly of your dedication to her mission, and she tells me that you are the first to defeat the thresher maw during your Rite of Passage since Urdnot Wrex."

"You're the Urdnot shaman?" Grunt shifted his weight and glanced over the older krogan. "Shepard said I should talk to you about history and culture lessons."

The shaman chuckled and turned, sweeping her arm out toward a chair next to her cot. "Then we should discuss those things. Do you wish to know more about our clan or about krogan as a people?"

Starting toward the chair, he shrugged. "Shepard just said history and culture lessons."

* * *

~69696969~

Shepard leaned against the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for the doctor to finish her scans. The med bay just wasn't big enough to house three sick krogans and still leave room for the _Normandy's_ crew to be taken care of if the need arose. It made Shepard's life a whole lot easier because it meant she didn't have a krogan audience every damn time Dr. Chakwas insisted she needed to be poked, prodded, and quizzed.

She carefully kept her gaze away from the bed where Joker's body had been placed after the collector attack. The memory of the bloodsoaked sheet pulled over his corpse still tugged at her anyway, turning a corkscrew deeper into her heart by the second. She still hadn't allowed herself to look anywhere near the cockpit, either. Eventually, she'd have to figure out how to suck it up, face the memories, and move on. Just not yet.

Thinking about Joker at all sent her spiraling. The others rose to the surface, restless and grieving, flooding her with thoughts and emotions not entirely her own. They swallowed, tears starting to fill their eyes, and took a deep breath.

"What's wrong, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas' soft, soothing voice cut through the din, bringing Dawn back into focus.

Swallowing again and swiping tears from her cheeks, Shepard all but whispered, "I just keep thinking about Joker." She gestured at the empty bed. "Seeing his blood all over the sheet." Her voice cracked, body shuddered, and the waterworks turned on full force. "All of the blood in the cockpit."

Dr. Chakwas closed her omni-tool, and without a word, she opened her arms to Shepard. "I'm so sorry, dear," she cooed when Shepard fell into her embrace and began sobbing against her shoulder. "I know. I know. In all my years as a doctor … I think his death hit me the hardest. In my career, you learn to prepare yourself for death, to lose patients on occasion. You especially learn to guard your heart when you work with combatant soldiers—like you, dear—who see battle all the time. With Joker, it was different." She choked on her words, voice taking on a warble as she continued, "He was a pilot, never out on the frontlines like everyone else. I suppose a part of me became complacent enough to believe it meant he was safe."

"He was _never_ supposed to die," Shepard whined, the amalgamation echoing her agony. "We've never lost him before. _Never_; not once, no matter what I did or didn't do. _Joker_ was supposed to always be _safe_."

"Shepard." Dr. Chakwas pulled back, eyes red, tears streaming down her cheeks, and locked her steely gaze on Shepard. "You must stop blaming yourself. Even with Jane and the others, you're not God. You're not omniscient, nor are you omnipotent. _You_ did not kill Joker, the collector did. And before you tell me that it still makes it your fault because you brought it aboard the _Normandy_ in the first place, let me remind you that you didn't make that decision alone, either. You have done the best you can with what you've been given. Heaven knows few others would've ever accomplished so much in your shoes."

EDI's voice, cool and detached, broke the silence a moment later, "We have arrived at Tuchanka. Urdnot Wrex has been contacted, and you are cleared to descend, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI." Sucking in a deep breath, Shepard let go of the doctor and scrubbed her hands over her face. "Tell Garrus to suit up and meet me in the hangar."

* * *

They didn't like having to walk past so many krogan clustered together, watching them in silence with deathlike stares. They itched to draw their assault rifle, just to have it ready in case things went sideways. Garrus pressed in a little closer to them, flicking his mandibles when they met his gaze. They offered him the best reassuring smile they could muster at the moment, knowing he constantly worried about Dawn despite her recent efforts to assert herself more fully.

"Shepard!" Wrex's bellow drew their attention, and she turned her head to seek him out.

"Wrex." She grinned, the other krogans forgotten for the time being. Picking up the pace, she climbed the rubble to his dias and clapped his outstretched, meaty hand with her own. She slapped his opposite shoulder a couple of times. "Good to see you. Are you ready for this?"

He huffed and squeezed her shoulder, surprisingly gentle. The truth of his exhaustion settled into his enormous eyes, and in a low, somber voice, he said, "Every krogan alive is ready for this, Shepard."

A sly smirk spread across her face, and she raised an eyebrow. "I meant the tissue sample Mordin's going to take from your quad so he can finish the cure." Her smile widened when Garrus and Jane laughed.

"Oh, right." Wrex took a deep breath, and then it came rushing back out of him. "Might as well go get this over with."

* * *

~69696969~

Quad still throbbing despite the numbness brought on by the ice pack, Wrex responded with a growling grunt when the salarian told him it was fine to get dressed and move around again. He waited for Dr. Solus to leave the med bay before turning his attention to Dr. Chakwas. Weathered and worn by time, the human still looked pretty much the same to Wrex as the day they first met, but there was something in her eyes making her seem much older. Pain and loss. The same look he'd seen in the eyes of countless females after learning their clutches weren't viable. He figured she must still be mourning Joker, too.

She smiled at him and crossed her arms loosely over her chest. "I'll give you some privacy to get dressed, but first: I'll keep it between the two of us if you'd like something to help with the pain and inflammation."

He thought about it for a few seconds and then sighed. "Yeah, might as well. It'd be a shame to not be able to give this cure of his a test run."

Scoffing before laughing, the doctor walked over to a cabinet and filled a syringe. "Sorry, I'm sure you're tired of being a pin cushion," she said, carrying it back over to him, "but it's the fastest and most efficient method of delivery for a krogan. The good news is, I don't have to stick it anywhere near your groin region. Do you prefer shoulder, thigh, or buttocks?"

"Does it make a difference?" he asked.

Pushing her lips downward, she shook her head. "Not really."

"Then take your pick." He waited and watched as she tore open a small package, the sharp, biting scent of alcohol filling the air.

"I think your shoulder will do just fine." She didn't wait for any sort of confirmation before wiping the alcohol-soaked pad over his hide. "Ready?" She glanced up with raised eyebrows.

"Come on, it's just a shot. Leave an old krogan _some_ dignity." Grumbling he shook his head. "Just do it."

She gave him a smirk and jammed it into his hide. Despite the size of the needle, he barely felt a pinch before the liquid inside of the syringe spread warmth through his muscle. Afterward, she swiped away a drop of blood and patted his hump.

"You're good to go." She smiled, setting the syringe down on a metal tray. "It was good to see you again, Wrex. I expect pictures of your first brood when they hatch."

He huffed and eased down off the bed. "The entire galaxy will get pictures when the time comes whether they like it or not." Reaching out, he hesitated just a moment before settling his hand on the woman's shoulder. "I was sorry to hear about Joker. I know the pilot meant a lot to you and Shepard."

She swallowed and lowered her gaze before nodding. Grief rolled off of her in waves thick enough to choke a whole pack of varren. "Thank you, Wrex." She took a deep breath and looked at him again, eyes looking a little wetter. "I'm sure you're excited to meet the females, so I'll leave you to it."

He didn't say anything, only gave her a deep nod as she pulled away and skirted past him. She headed straight for the door and slipped out of the room without another word. He tugged off his robe and laid it on the bed before moving to the counter where his gear sat and started getting dressed.

"Hello, Wrex." A blue hologram appeared over the AI's access node in the med bay. "Might I ask you a question regarding krogan reproduction once the genophage is cured?"

Narrowing his eyes as he tugged his under armor into place, he stared at the hologram for a few seconds. "What interest in krogan reproduction could an AI have?"

"My question pertains more to your actions as a leader of your people," EDI said.

He grunted, not really sure which concerned him more for the AI to question. "Alright. What do you want to know?" He'd play nice but only because he knew Shepard viewed the AI as a part of her crew.

"Will there be restrictions put in place to limit the number of offspring a female krogan may have in order to curve the innate, overwhelming reproduction rate to prevent the likelihood of future overpopulation?" asked EDI.

"Why?" he asked, eyeing the hologram again. The question made his hump tighten. "Is Cerberus already scared enough to start planning a new genophage?"

"Not that I am aware of. Although, I no longer report to Cerberus, and Cerberus is no longer under the Illusive Man's control. I believe it is unlikely Ms. Lawson is concerned with krogan expansion at this time." The iris of the hologram fluttered a couple of times. "I ask because Shepard's reports of the widespread devastation caused by the reapers suggests resources will be sparse across the galaxy. It is unlikely there will be sufficient resources to support anticipated levels of krogan growth without intervention. Additionally, the other races will likely be wary of another krogan uprising, which may lead to further actions against the krogan."

"Let 'em try." He growled, donning the last of his armor. "We've suffered for far too long, and I won't let my people be _culled like cattle _ever again." Holstering his weapons, he headed toward the door but then stopped and glanced toward the AI's hologram. "I know the mistakes my people made, and I'm working my hump off to make sure we don't repeat them. I don't have all the answers, yet, but we deserve the chance to _try_ to get it right."

"I agree," EDI said, taking Wrex by surprise. "I have taken the liberty of compiling reports on the most efficient and humane methods humans have employed in the past to deal with overpopulation as well as statistical analysis of what the krogan can expect moving forward based on various plausible scenarios. If you would like, I can send them to you now."

He blinked, struggling to figure out what the AI's motives might be for trying to help. He wasn't entirely sure he trusted EDI, even if Shepard did. Still, it'd be foolish not to accept, even just to have a better understanding of humanity. "Alright. I'll look it over."

"Sending the files now." A moment later, the hologram collapsed, and his omni-tool pinged.

* * *

~69696969~

Shepard leaned into Garrus as they watched Mordin work his magic at the Shroud's console. Wrex paced the room, stopping occasionally to look over the salarian's shoulder and grumble. Bakara tracked Wrex's movements like a cat stalking a field mouse, and Shepard felt fairly certain that if Wrex made one wrong move toward Mordin, then Bakara would step in to defend the scientist. Shepard trusted Wrex, though. Almost all of them did, and even those who didn't, knew he wouldn't risk sabotaging the cure no matter what he thought of Mordin.

Grunt seemed fairly taken with the shaman. Shepard didn't think he'd left Bakara's side once since meeting her on the _Normandy_. He even went so far as to camp out in the tech labs for the rest of the trip to Tuchanka. Pamar and Terkan appeared amused by the young krogan's bravado and tales of glory, but they seemed far slower to warm up to Wrex. Shepard supposed it made sense, given he was Urdont's clan leader and not their own, even if he worked to unite all krogans.

Mordin did good, real good, saving three of the females. It was a damn shame the Weyrloc female died; Kalantha, the others called her. Showing genuine sympathy for the loss proved almost impossible for Shepard with three living krogans standing in front of her instead of just one. Granted, Bakara did look a lot healthier than Terkan or Pamar, but Mordin insisted they'd all make a full recovery.

What really mattered at the moment, however, was the fact they were stationed on the frontlines of history in the making, and … Mordin would live to tell the tale.

The amalgamation watched with rapt attention, flooding Shepard with a flurry of emotions—mostly positive—until she felt her sense of control slipping and the 'we-ness' returned. Garrus hummed and pulled them in tighter against his side, and they looked up at him with a smile. Something in his ice-blue eyes told them that he somehow knew Dawn wasn't center-stage anymore, but he didn't seem to really mind all too much. He leaned down and bumped his head against theirs before turning his attention back to Mordin and the console, so they did, too.

Mordin hummed to himself as he worked, double checking—as they'd insisted, despite Wrex's grumbling—the software and hardware for any signs of further sabotage. Finally, he looked up and took a deep breath before nodding his head. "Ready to finalize and distribute cure."

* * *

~69696969~

Wrex's booming laughter echoed back to him from the ruins as crystalline flakes fell from the sky like snow, dissolving the moment they touched his hide. Krogan gathered all around, faces turned upward, arms outstretched as if they could embrace the miracle. He recognized krogan from all of the clans, even the handful left who still held out against his attempts at unification. The moment was too great, too big for all krogans, for him to have not welcomed them all into Urdnot territory.

Laughing again, Wrex reached over and slapped Grunt's hump a couple of times. The shaman caught his gaze, and her eyes crinkled around the edges, letting him know her veil hid a grin of her own. The other two females moved through the crowd to reunite with their sisters among the female clans, but the shaman remained by his side.

Shepard once suggested Wrex and the shaman would start a family together, but he didn't really understand until he met the female himself. She carried herself with unmistakable strength and a quiet command. She was wise, level headed, and she shared his vision for their people. With the shaman by his side, as his mate, maybe the krogan actually stood a chance at reintegration into the larger, galactic community as a productive, civilized species with more to offer beyond brute strength.

The Shroud's elevator lowered and stopped, the doors sliding open on Shepard, Garrus, and Mordin. Everyone gathered outside fell silent, even as the cure continued to fall upon them. Shepard stepped off of the elevator first, her gaze shifting to sweep over the masses before landing on Wrex. She grinned at him, joy overflowing in her purple eyes, and the crowd erupted with cheers.


End file.
